


He Can't Drown, but He Never Followed the Rules Anyways

by 3am_updates



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types, Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan
Genre: Amnesia, Angst, Children are to Young for This, Creepy Behaviors, Gaea is creepy, Gods, Greek gods, HoO - Freeform, Insane! Percy Jackson, Insanity, Memory Loss, PJO, Percy Jackson Needs a Hug, Possesive Behaviors, Schizophrenia, TW: Drowing, TW: Self Harm, Wars, Whump, drown, roman gods, tw: insanity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-26
Updated: 2019-05-26
Packaged: 2020-03-19 22:02:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 407
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18979225
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/3am_updates/pseuds/3am_updates
Summary: He can't drown.This is what Percy Jackson tells himself as his breath is stolen and his vision fades.





	He Can't Drown, but He Never Followed the Rules Anyways

**Author's Note:**

> Might be triggering. Basically, Percy has more problems than appear at first glance.

He can’t drown. 

Percy Jackson has been told those words too many time to count. Naiads have giggled and laughed out the phrase, monsters have whispered to one another, his father laughed and reassured him. 

‘Mortals, with your irrational fears,’ he had said, smile wide. ‘You’re my son. You’ll never drown.’

His friends understand, somewhat. Thalia is afraid of heights, despite knowing the wind will catch her should she fall. Nico’s afraid of the dark. Clarisse would never admit it, but she squirms at the sight of blood. 

‘You can’t drown, you can’t drown, you can’t drown.’ It’s what others tell him, what he tells himself.

_ (He can’t drown, but he can’t stop himself from holding his breath, either.) _

\-------------------

He can’t drown.

He can’t remember much, but the words float in the back of his head, almost as prominent as ‘Annabeth’. 

He’s Neptune’s son. It’s logical to say he can’t drown. He can’t explain why he flinches so hard when the Tibet hits him. He chalks it up to what Juno said. 

So he believes that he can’t drown. Belief doesn't help him, in Alaska. He sinks and falls and suffocates regardless. 

‘The son of Neptune shall drown’ is all that runs through his head. The dirt surrounds him, crushes him, and reminds him to much of the ocean’s icy depths. He hates the fact that he’s comforted by Gaea’s voice. 

‘Shh…’ she says, as he struggles to breath. ‘I’ll keep you safe. Just sleep.’

He’s pulled out by Hazel, and he convinces himself that he’s fine. 

_ (He can’t drown, but somehow, he just did.) _

\-------------------

He can’t drown.

So why does it feel like he can? He’s constantly holding his breath. He can’t breathe, and he stays away from water. 

Why isn’t he getting better? The war is over, and they’ve won. He’s out of Tartarus. His friends are alive. He shouldn’t be getting crushed, shouldn’t be drowning under the weight of voices. The weight of guilt. Of regret, and mistakes he can never take back. 

He’s fine, and no one knows why he doesn’t go swimming anymore. He coughs up to much nectar rather than heal himself with water. 

He drowns every night, everyday, every moment. He watches his blood, drawn from his own sword, mix with the water that always surrounds him. 

Dionysus stares at him with pity, insanity reflected in his eyes. Percy Jackson finally realizes something. 

_ (He can’t breathe because he already drowned.) _

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Make sure to leave suggestions for me 'cause I don't know what I'm doing.


End file.
